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We hope these stories of personal commitments to giving will be moving and inspirational. For more information, please contact Jane Friedman, Development Director, at 479.3441 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Voices of Giving at Rodef Sholom
The Gift of Giving - a grandparent's joy by Marci Dollinger, Secretary, CRS Board of Directors Top of page I don't think I will ever forget Rodef Sholom's inaugural First Friday Shabbat Dinner. From having to drive around for a parking spot, to the welcoming handshake of a stranger, to the appetizers in the foyer - I knew this was not going to be our typical "Friday Night at the Temple". The pivotal moment for me was seeing the light in the eyes and the deepening smiles of our Rabbis and Cantor when the accordion wall was opened and folding chairs pulled out, to accommodate congregants who were spilling into the aisles and back into the reception hall. It always made me sad that in a situation where our Temple had to rent out the Civic Center for High Holiday services, that so few people attended Friday night Shabbat services. For the first time... there it was - it was possible to fill our beautiful Temple on a simple Friday evening. Embracing Shabbat and attending Friday night services has been a bridge for our family between home and religious school. As an Interfaith couple, who has chosen to raise our children Jewish, what 1st Friday supports is not just the verbal agreement for raising Jewish kids, but action... participation. Showing up to Temple helps give us a common language. Sitting through services and then dinner with our friends, our community, brings us together as a "Jewish Family" in a way that nothing else has been able to do. The hidden blessing is that the experience has now shifted all Shabbats for us - whether at home alone, with friends, or at a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th of the month Friday service. Especially for Interfaith families, I think there is a certain hesitation to join some of the group cultural and/or religious activities. But through 1st Friday Shabbat, the tone is set with the service and reinforced through dinner. It's all accessible, all possible - in whatever way you want or need it to be. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't write that when encouraging my friends who are either in my situation (Interfaith, or with one or both Jewish parents being somewhat ambivalent about their involvement) to attend a 1st Friday service/dinner, I use the food and not having to cook as the biggest selling point. The "come as you are", "it doesn't matter - have your kids wear their clothes from soccer practice", and "oh yes! there is childcare for your 7-and-under kid"... goes a very, very long way with over-extended families. It is what gets them in the door. But the truth is, I know I am sort of tricking them, because once they're there, if there is even a smidgen of openings in their heart and/or soul about being closer to G-d... embracing Judaism, then the seed is planted and for some, begins to grow. From a Jewish mom, with a supportive Catholic husband, and an innovative Temple that's making it easy to raise kids Jewish... one last image - It's Friday night at Rodef Sholom, I'm sitting with my husband who is thumbing through the prayer book, my 8 year old is next to me playing with Legos and singing in Hebrew as loudly as he can, my 11-year old is a couple rows up with her friends - I see 6 of them squeezed side-by-side onto 4 chairs ... heads together, laughing, whispering, praying. It's Shabbat. I'm at peace. I wonder what's for dinner. Tradition of Giving - What Jacquie Gribens Learned I have lived in more places than the average person. Moving to different cities has allowed me the opportunity to join many congregations, which we join immediately upon moving in order to settle into a new community. I have always become a very active member, but I must be honest and snitch on Bruce - this is the first place where Bruce has become very involved (he is currently serving as treasurer on the Board of Directors). I am not sure what came first: our feeling so at home since we are both so involved; or, becoming so involved because we feel so much a part of this community. Either way, we were honored and touched to be asked to chair the Tradition of Giving Campaign in 2008. Chairing the campaign was, as most things are at Rodef Sholom, transformational - it changed my entire perception of our congregation. A reminder of what the Tradition of Giving Campaign funds – the Tradition of Giving Campaign provides critical support for the operating budget each year. Donations to this campaign provide additional support for Rodef Sholom’s outstanding pastoral care, innovative programs and high-quality Jewish education. I want to share with you what I learned from this campaign. What was surprising to both of us was we didn't realize how tight the budget is or how some programs are in jeopardy of being cut each year. I assumed, as many of us probably do, that because of the size, location, and reputation of our congregation, that its finances were stable. I was amazed to learn of how we barely make it each year! When the time came to review the success of our campaign (we exceeded our goal by raising $106,500), I thought that one way to improve is to keep reminding everyone of the importance of the Tradition of Giving campaign, and how strongly it impacts our ability to carry out our mission. 20% of our budget is dependent upon fundraising. The Tradition of Giving Campaign is a key component of our total fundraising effort. You can see how your donation can make a difference and how the success of this campaign is vital to this community. In October, the congregation will receive a solicitation letter from Michelle Conte, who is this year’s campaign chair. Michele has a powerful message that underscores the importance of this annual campaign. I hope you will join me in supporting her efforts by making a gift that ensures that this amazing community can continue to flourish, inspire, educate, and elevate all those who seek it. The Chai Circle Family - Marc & Kim Press "Just imagine what we could do with more Chai Circles of Giving!" Those were the words from Rabbi Stacy Friedman that inspired Marc Press. But he knew that he and his wife Kim could not shoulder the Chai Circle financial commitment alone. So they decided to reach out to their own circle of congregation friends to see if they could make something happen.And they did. Marc and Kim Press recognized that many of the congregation's programs cannot exist without additional financial support. So they did what comes naturally: they contacted about ten families with whom they shared common ground. Many of them had young kids, they all had a close relationship to Rodef Sholom, and they all participated in temple programs that made a difference in their lives. Says Kim, "We're passionate about so many of the programs: Danny Nichols at Shabbat services, the open tent committee, the conversion mentor program, and the challah baking on Thursday afternoons. Without additional funds, these programs could not exist." Adds Marc, "The fact that our wonderful clergy can each be engaged in unique and special programs is a direct result of having the extra funds that come from Chai Circles." The concept of Chai Circle giving initially grew out of a need to cover a specific budget shortfall and the financial commitment was $10,000, each year for 3 years. But Marc always thought it should be a continuous level of giving. So when the 3-year commitment was up, he approached their Chai Circle "family" again and almost every member willingly agreed to the funding again. According to Marc, "They were proud to be included." Notes Marc, "The goal of Chai Circles was never to increase membership but to see fellow congregants more deeply involved in meaningful activities. These additional resources directly translate into greater connections for many more families like ours." Marc and Kim are passionate about making this choice and leading the way for other congregation members. They are keenly aware that additional resources are necessary to keep alive the rich array of activities and programs that mean so much to so many families. Many of these are not simply an extra class or fun activity but are what make a big difference in people's lives: The Nichum program of meals for congregants in need, Mitzvah Day that benefits dozens of Marin County agencies, and meals for the homeless through our Religious School, among many others. These would not be possible without the additional funds from the Chai Circles. As a former Board and Chai Circle member, I am aware of the financial realities Rodef Sholom faces in doing its important work. It was an honor to interview Marc and Kim who have shown great dedication and leadership by giving their time, talent and resources. I am inspired by their generosity and I hope others will be as well. -- Cindy Ostroff Adrianne Marcus Wilson - A Loving Legacy to her Extended Family Adrianne Marcus grew up in the South, one of very few Jews in her small town. She described her synagogue community as an "extended family." So, when she and her family moved to Marin County many years ago, Congregation Rodef Sholom became their new family. It was here that Adrianne and her family marked their most profound moments-illnesses, deaths, weddings, and baby namings. They celebrated, mourned, prayed and danced within the synagogue walls, and always considered Congregation Rodef Sholom central to their life. Adrianne died on September 9, 2009. "Adrianne cared so much about the shul," said her husband Ian Wilson. "It meant so much to her." And now, Adrianne's love of our sacred community lives on through her generosity. By making a gift through her estate, Adrianne helped ensure that Congregation Rodef Sholom would continue its holy work, impacting generations. Her memory is a blessing to us all and we are deeply honored to receive her gift. Sometimes members let us know they have made a provision for the congregation in their estate plan. Others surprise us, which is a gift unto itself. We offer our deepest gratitude to Adrianne and all who help sustain our sacred "family" in this way. Zikhrono livracha, of blessed memory Rabbi Stacy Friedman The Tolson Family - proud to support quality Jewish educationIf anyone has a reason to invest in the future, it's Ingrid and Andrew Tolson. The parents of two sets of twin boys, the Tolsons are committed to Jewish education and they understand what it takes to make that happen, especially in a meaningful way for their family. This year, Gabriel and Adam are in the 4th grade and Solomon and Benjamin is in 1st. Ingrid points out with pride that her boys are experiencing their Jewish education in creative, interesting ways, far beyond sitting in the classroom. They are learning Israeli dancing and living their Jewish culture, all while making new friends in each of their classes. Outside activities enrich their learning too: this year the 4th graders went to the Marin Farmers' Market and their teachers surprised them with a scavenger hunt, turning the trip into an opportunity to teach in an inventive, fun way. The Tolsons find the school atmosphere warm and friendly, and value the fact that Director Irene Resnikoff and the staff personally know their boys. They in turn make a point of participating, attending tefillah with the boys, helping host a Chanukah party and volunteering as room parents. They also look forward to having the time for adult Torah study too when their boys are a little older. Ingrid and Andrew also recognize that this quality comes at a price: they understand that our clergy, staff and programs all require a financial commitment and they are proud to contribute. As a former treasurer at Sherith Israel in San Francisco, Andrew has first-hand knowledge of what it takes to have the best clergy and staff, to offer the highest quality programs, and to provide a warm, welcoming religious school and synagogue for a large congregation. The Tolsons are pleased to be part of Rodef Sholom and are happy to contribute in any way they can. As a past Board Member and a parent of a son who completed 12th grade at the Religious School, I share the Tolsons' view that parent participation is the best model for our children. We thank the Tolsons for their commitment to Rodef Sholom and our Religious School - Cindy Ostroff. Frank and Lee Battat love synagogue life! For them, it is like breathing - it has provided a community, friendship and a sense of richness. They view it as the center of Jewish life, for as Frank says, "to have a Jewish community, you have to have a synagogue." This is why Lee and Frank choose to make a planned gift for the future of Rodef Sholom. The deep connection that Frank and Lee feel towards Rodef Sholom may be genetic, or it may be learned; they each grew up with their synagogues holding foundational roles in the lives of their families. Frank's father, born in Baghdad, and a world traveler, met Frank's mother following services one Friday night in Frankfurt when the president of the synagogue invited Frank's father, who was traveling on business from The Dutch East Indies, to his home for Shabbat dinner. That Shabbat dinner ultimately led to marriage. After stints in New York and Los Angeles, Frank's parents settled in San Francisco, where Frank was born. Frank's father founded the Sephardic synagogue in San Francisco, Magen David. He was a learned, observant Jew, but understood that society changes and that people change along with society. When twelve year old Frank and his brothers wanted to attend Conservative Beth Israel, the family obliged. Rabbi Burstein, aware of Frank's father's scholarly Hebrew background, invited him to sit on the Bima - a tradition that lasted every Shabbat for his entire lifetime. Frank's father served eight years as president of Beth Israel and oversaw the merger of Beth Israel and Temple Judea. Lee's family fled Nazi Germany in 1936 and arrived in San Francisco. Lee's mother's parents joined them over time, but Lee's father lost his parents and sister in the Holocaust. Lee's family joined Temple Emanu-El. Following the war, differing with Rabbi Irving Reichert's anti-Zionist stance Lee's family, along with many others, left Temple Emanu-El and joined Sherith Israel. When the dynamic, pro-Zionist rabbi, Alvin Fine, took over Emanu-El's pulpit, Lee's family returned and remained active ever since. Frank and Lee moved to Marin County from San Francisco in 1959. They joined Rodef Sholom in 1966 and immediately became active participants. Lee edited the Voice for many years and Frank was involved in the leadership of Rodef Sholom and became president in 1975. At that time, Rodef was $40,000 "in the red," and had 320 families as members. During Frank's two year tenure as President, the congregation erased its deficit, welcomed Rabbi Barenbaum as its new rabbi, re-structured its organization and grew in size to 800 families. Until he became president and began to sit on the Bima at Friday night services, Frank and Lee and their children, Mark, Michael and Suzanne, had Shabbat dinner with their parents every Friday night - one Shabbat with Lee's parents and the next with Frank's parents. After Frank's term as president ended, the Shabbat dinner ritual continued. It continues to this day with Frank and Lee joining Lee's 102 year old mother for Shabbat dinner almost every Friday night. When Frank's presidency ended, Lee went on the Board and served several years on the Executive Committee. She also helped co-chair numerous temple events including the synagogue's 40th and 50th anniversary parties and Rabbi Barenbaum's retirement party. All three institutions took on mortgage obligations when the Campus was built. Some years later, Frank put together a committee that oversaw the retirement of the congregation's debit. Then Frank formed another committee to erase the debt of Brandeis Hillel and the JCC. A portion of this was raised from the community, and the balance came from an "angel" to whom Frank feels we all owe a debt of gratitude. During his years of leadership at Rodef Sholom, Frank had a business and young children. Yet he never viewed his role at the synagogue as time consuming. He had seen his father involved in this way and this is how he spent his time as well. It is just what one did. It has been a number of years since Frank and Lee Battat have held leadership positions at Rodef Sholom. Today when they walk into the congregation, there are times when they do not know anyone in the completely full sanctuary. Frank said, "I am happy to walk in and not know anyone. The future of the congregation is no longer with my generation; it belongs now to another generation." And in keeping with that idea, Frank and Lee have made gifts to Rodef Sholom for many years. Rodef Sholom has always been their primary focus. They support other organizations too because they are part of a broad Jewish community and secular community as well, but for them the synagogue comes first. Frank and Lee have made a commitment to Rodef Sholom in their estate plan, which will be paid on their deaths. "As we leave life, we want to do something in keeping with what we did our entire lives," commented Frank. "We want to make sure that Rodef Sholom exists for the next generation." For Lee and Frank, they desire to provide first for their children and grandchildren. But at the same time, in their own words, they "want to take care of the community that is important to us. Rodef Sholom validates the basic ethical standard we were raised with." As a final lesson, Lee and Frank, whose children are involved in numerous community endeavors that are meaningful to each of them, stated "we never told our children to do anything in the community - we always just led by example." The men's shelter at Rodef Sholom - a place for my boys to learn the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim, welcoming the stranger, by Rachel Kertz It started with an email from Rabbi Lezak, "The men's shelter will be here tonight. Bring cookies." That was about a year ago. That first night my two boys, Nathan (age 9) and Ryan (age 6) and I showed up at the synagogue with six packages of cookies. The boys ran into the Social Hall (as they always do) but then saw the scene, came to a complete stop and latched onto my sides. I just said we are going to walk straight to the kitchen and get our cookies ready. Who could blame them? In our Social Hall were people they had never seen there before. Here were 30+ men - some who looked different and scraggly and some who didn't. We didn't know their names. Many of these men were the same men we had passed by on 4th street in downtown San Rafael or seen outside Village Oaks asking for money, but we had never seen them in our Social Hall. That first night we plated cookies and offered them to the men. The boys met a couple of them and we only stayed about 30 minutes. The next week we brought a chess set and some other board games and played games with the men for about an hour. Then, for the following weeks up until the men's shelter ended in March, we came to visit the men every Wednesday. The boys and the men got to know each other. At home, the boys and I talked a lot about why these men may not have a home and what might have gone wrong in their lives. Last year we met one man, Ricky, who became our friend. Ricky came every week and we got to know each other pretty well. Ricky became very close to the boys and even wanted to come to Ryan's 7th birthday party. That didn't work out but we brought Ricky a piece of birthday cake a few days later. At the end of the shelter we lost track of Ricky. It wasn't until August that we saw him again. Ricky is now living in a place in Hamilton. He hugs us when we see him. Last year we were told that some of the men stay clean on Wednesday nights because they love coming to Rodef Sholom. I've heard the men say that it is so warm and feels like a real home. The men also loved having the kids around. There was even a bit of a contest going on with some of the men to see who could beat Nathan in chess. December 2009 - We are back at the shelter. Some of the same men are there and the boys know that on Wednesday night it is shelter night. They enjoy going. We eat dinner with the men, play games and visit. We see some of the men that we saw last year. They all remember Nathan and Ryan. This year we met a 23 year old man who has been living on the streets since he was 14. The first night we met him was his first night out of jail and being clean (not using drugs). He only had the shoes from jail. He and I talked for a long time. He asked if he could play the Social Hall piano. He was amazing. He played beautiful music. This week we were able to give him a pair of size 13 shoes and he has been clean for 8 days. He gave me a hug when he saw us and I don't think he has had someone to hug in a long time. We hope to see him next time because he is going to play the guitar with Ryan. I also know that he might not be there but I can only hope and pray. On so many levels it is important for me and my boys to help at the shelter. I want to teach my boys what it feels like to do a mitzvah. I want to teach them that we can't take for granted all that we have. I want to teach them that something as small as playing chess and learning someone's name can make all the difference in the world. I want to teach them that our world isn't right and we can do something about it. Hopefully one year we won't need to host the shelter but for right now as long as Rodef Sholom has the Wednesday night shelter, we will be there. It is too important for all of us not to be there. Thank you to the clergy, staff and others for making this possible and opening our home to those that need it. Len and Patti Blumin: Anyone can do this! When Patti Blumin agreed to talk about including Rodef Sholom in their family's estate plan, it was with a bit of hesitation. She honestly admitted that for her and, in fact for most people, there is awkwardness in talking about money and spirituality in the same breath. But she and Len, her husband of 30 years, have realized over time that the members of our congregation need to be assured that there will be resources for the future. That is why Patti and Len Blumin have named Rodef Sholom in their estate. Patti and Len have a long history with Rodef Sholom. As a young couple contemplating marriage, they knew they wanted a Jewish wedding. Since Patti was not raised Jewish, they decided to study with Rabbi Barenbaum. These meetings were personal, deeply meaningful and provided a real foundation of Judaism for them. Patti's conversion ceremony was led by Rabbi Barenbaum and a week later he married Patti and Len. Patti was immediately drawn into temple life: she loved the music and singing, Friday night services, the rituals and customs. Then she felt the need for even greater involvement, joining Sisterhood and making many connections in the congregation. She served as Sisterhood president for 3 years and then was a temple board member for 2 terms. Patti also chaired the membership committee for 4 years, hosting dinners for new members. She also coordinated a program Rabbi Barenbaum initiated called "When the Need Arises," to assist families who had little or no family support with the loss of a loved one. She notes that these were the activities that "cemented" her Jewish identity. As life went on, they both devoted themselves to various commitments: Len was busy as an emergency room physician; Patti worked in real estate management and developed a real passion for environmental education, serving for 30 years as a volunteer docent at the Audubon Canyon Ranch. And they remained committed to the temple, counting on our clergy and many temple friends when they lost parents and family members. They have always felt deeply connected to the temple community. So it was in that spirit that they decided to make a bequest to Rodef Sholom through their family trust. Len, always an excellent planner, makes this observation: "When you're 30, you don't think much about your mortality. On reaching 40 we recognized the importance of planning for retirement, and soon thereafter formulated rudimentary estate plans. By age 50 we had lost some family and loved ones, and decided to create a family trust." So he and Patti went through a process, wanting to be sure to maximize their assets for their family and for the causes that meant so much to them, including Rodef Sholom. They emphasize that "anyone can do this", that the temple is part of life and must be provided for in the future. They feel their bequest is a way of giving back and ensuring that there will be continuity for future generations. In Patti's words: " The reality is that we need to assure that there will be reliable resources available in the future to provide the excellent clergy and other professionals...so they in turn can continue to provide us all with spiritual nourishment." They both hope that others will realize they can include Rodef Sholom in their estate plans while they continue to provide for their families as well. Len and Patti Blumin's generosity enables Rodef Sholom to continue its enduring work as well as provide for new programs in the future. Please join Len and Patti and the more than 40 Legacy Circle members by including Rodef Sholom in your estate plans. If you are interested in making a contribution to Rodef Sholom, please use the Donate Now button on the Rodef Sholom home page.
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Through the efforts of our Kulanu/ Inclusion of Those with Disabilities Committee, Rodef Sholom has been acknowleded as an accessible congregation by the National Organization on Disability. 