Rodef Sholom: A Reform Jewish Congregation in Marin County, California

Passover home hospitality

The first night of Passover is Monday, March 29

The mitzvah of hospitality and opening your home to strangers is a mitzvah we practice at Rodef Sholom.  Our hope is that everyone has a place at a Seder and is not alone for this holiday.  We ask you to open your home to others on the first night of Passover this year.   If you would like to host other congregants at your Seder or need to be hosted, please contact Moji before March 15 at moji@rodefsholom.org or 479.3441.

Jan's story:  I remember fondly our huge family seders.  Our extra large dining room table wasn’t big enough to accommodate all the relatives, so grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles sat at tables that awkwardly spilled from the dining room into the living room.  Grandpa Eddie led the seder, and we took turns reading from the well worn Maxwell House hagaddahs (the little blue ones!).  There was always a ton of food, from gefilte fish to my sister’s famous charoset, to Mom’s brisket, and even though there wasn’t a spare chair in the house we still delighted in opening the door to let Elijah in to join the fun.

In recent years, it’s been my pleasure to host our family seder.   I cherish that feeling of having lots of family crowded around a patchwork of tables, taking turns reading from the hagaddahs and, of course, eating all the wonderful Passover food.   So now I fill our dining room table, and every other table in the house, with Luxenberg family and Rodef Sholom family members.  Inviting congregants who might not otherwise be able to participate in a seder to our home has become a tradition for us. And many of our guests who were brave enough to take on a Luxenberg seder (we are surprisingly low key, sometimes silly, and yet still very meaningful) are now “regulars”, and feel just like family!

Wendy Lawrence:  I should start by saying that Nicholas’ and my very first Pesach seder was at the JCC in San Francisco surrounded by several hundred complete strangers, two years before we went to the mikvah.  We sat at a large round table of about ten Jews, consisting of single parents and children mostly, and an elderly couple or two.  Aside from being Jewish and celebrating Pesach, the one thing we all had in common was that we had nowhere else to spend first night seder and it was important to all of us that we did.  The tables were lovely and the rabbis on the stage were heroic in keeping the haggadah funny and relevant and the hungry children mostly quiet.

It was lovely and we left happy and observant, but it was not the same as what has become our very special yearly tradition of going to Jan and Jay Luxenberg's home, complete with squabbling siblings, overflowing dishes in the kitchen, spilled wine on the white table cloth and searching for the afikomen, which, to Nicholas' chagrin, falls to him every year as still being the youngest, even as he approaches being six feet two inches tall!

Although I remember being nervous our first time at the Luxenberg's, I knew who Jan was because I used to see her at temple all the time and when we walked in the door, even Nicholas knew who she was and immediately felt at home.  Then we met Jay and the cat and the grandparents and sisters and cousins in-laws and knew we had found a second home. By the time we left that first night, we knew it was just the beginning of a lasting tradition and a lifelong friendship.

Every year at this time, I still think about our first seder at the SFJCC and about the Jewish "orphans" who have no place else to go and I'm happy that the SFJCC can provide a sanctuary.  As a matter of fact, before we were invited to our first year at Jan's, I had already bought two tickets for the JCC seder, which I returned to the JCC who promised to give them to those who couldn't afford to go.   And even as tight as things are right now, I am going to donate two tickets to the JCC first night seder this year, too, because really, that's what it's all about.

Chag Purim Sameach!

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When our son Haggai was a senior in high school he became interested in a Japanese martial art.  He spent many hours practicing with his teacher, Sensei Andre.  He became very close to Andre and invited him to our home for Shabbat.   When Andre came for Friday night dinner he sat next to Haggai and we explained all the rituals from lighting candles to eating challah.  After all the other guests left, Andre stayed and insisted on helping me with the dishes. 

It was then that he told me his story.  He was Jewish and had grown up in Germany. His parents were survivors of the Holocaust.  He had always hated being Jewish. He associated it with anti-Semitism and shared with me that this was the first joyful Jewish occasion he had ever experienced.  The only Jewish day his family every observed was the day they were liberated from the camps.  On that day his father took him up on a hill where they could see one of the camps and they ate potato skins.  I told Andre that, in spite of his desire to run away from Judaism, his father was very Jewish.  He had created a holiday with ritual and meaning. Only he left out the joy.

Andre’s “liberation day” reminded me of Pesach.  I asked him if he had ever attended a seder.  He didn’t know what that was, so I insisted that he join us for our seder, a month later.  It didn’t matter to me that we already had 15 people coming to seder -- Andre had to be there!

When the children of Israel are first commanded to celebrate the Passover in the book of Exodus, they are told to join together as families.

Adonai said to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt…Speak to the whole community of Israel and say that on the tenth of this month each of them shall take a lamb to a family, a lamb to a household.  But if the household is too small for a lamb, let him share one with a neighbor who dwells nearby, in proportion to the number of persons; you shall contribute for the lamb according to what each household will eat.

There was a practical reason for this.  They needed to finish the sacrificial lamb before they left Egypt.  But there was also a spiritual reason.  This was not a time to be alone.  This idea is also reflected in the Passover Haggadah.  At the beginning of the seder, between breaking the matzah for the Afikoman and the four questions, we lift up the matzah plate and recite the following: 

This is the bread of affliction which our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt. All who are hungry—let them come and eat. All who are needy—let them come and celebrate the Passover with us…

Rabbi Shlomo Riskin asks why the Haggadah distinguishes between the hungry and the needy. Aren’t they the same? He suggests that that hunger does not mean only a lack of physical nourishment. It can mean hunger for human companionship and human concern. Erev Pesach, the night that we remember our master story, is a time to be together. It is a time to make space at our tables for another one or two people and it is not a time to be afraid to ask for an invitation. “Let anyone who is in need—in need of food, in need companionship, in need of experiencing the Jewish tradition—come and spend Passover with us.”  Shlomo Riskin

To finish my story, Andre has come to many Pesach seders at our home and he has brought others with him.   He always asks amazing questions and we share with him the joy that he has missed. Through the years we have welcomed many “strangers” to our home for seder.  And, to be honest, not all have been easy guests.  But every one of them has added to our seder experience.

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Men’s Mikvah — A pre-Pesach immersion
Is the water warmer before Pesach than it is before Rosh HaShanah?  Come find out. Join Rabbi Lezak on Sunday, March 28th for our first-ever springtime mikvah immersion. We’ll gather at 6 am in the sanctuary for soulful pre-Pesach reflection then make our way down to the Marin Headlands to the refreshing waters of the Pacific.  RSVP to Pete at 479.3441 or pete@rodefsholom.org.

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Monday, March 22, 6:30 pm
JCRC's Annual Interfaith Freedom Seder
Compassion-Collaboration-Community: Strengthening our Response to Human Suffering

We will celebrate the festival of Passover with a delicious vegetarian dinner, traditional and new music, a gathering of old and new friends, plus stories of how compassion and collaboration can build a community.  The seder will be led by Rabbi Ted Feldman, B'nai Israel Jewish Center, and Reverend Veronica Goines, St. Andrew Presbyterian Church, and the cost is $25 adults, $20 students, $15 children 12 and under.  The seder will take place at the Osher Marin JCC and is co-sponsored by the JCC, the JCRC, the MOC, the MIC, the JFCS, the JCF Marin, and congregations Rodef Sholom, Kol Shofar, Gan Halev, and San Geronimo Valley. Please reserve by Wednesday, March 17, at 444.8000, and direct questions to Suzan Berns at the JCRC 472.5128.

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Sunday, March 21, 5 pm

Save the date for our 17th Annual Women's Seder!
Please join the Women of Rodef Sholom for this beautiful seder, written by and for our Sisterhood. RSVPs are mandatory and are due by March 17.  Registration forms are available in our lobby.

If you have any questions, call Rhonda Daniels at 415.895.1432 or send an e-mail to WRS@rodefsholom.org, Subject: Seder.

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